Losing the Weight

I, like most red-blooded females, have been trying to lose 20 pounds. This is not the first time, my weight has been a lifelong battle. My mom weighed over 300 pounds when she graduated high school (she's about 5'5"). She now weighs 145 pounds. My mom went to TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) when I was a child and counted calories religiously. I know how to lose weight, I know what it takes, I've watched her all my life. I was never heavy. I've always been reasonable. Eight years ago I hit the highest weight I've ever been non-pregnant. God also brought a great book into my life that scared the "health" into me. I started working out and counting calories and in under a year, lost 35 pounds. Sadly, 8 years later, I've almost gained them all back. No time to work out, my son was diagnosed with diabetes and celiac so I spend more time watching his food and less watching mine. Also, try to count carbs and calories and make a meal. They are like opposite ends of the spectrum. He can eat tons of meat, I try to skimp by. It's hard.

So, here I am eight years later, trying again. It hasn't been going great, although I will say, the working out is helping because even though I've gained all that weight, I only wear one size bigger. Twelve years ago I did a program called the Weigh-Down Workshop and was really successful, one of the tenets of this is to know when you are hungry and only eat when you are hungry. If you feel yourself wanting food, it shows a hole in your life that needs filled by God. You are really wanting God. She would also talk about "God moments". Things that would happen like dropping your bowl of ice cream when you really didn't need it.

I had a God moment today. It had been a weird morning, not the normal schedule and I was hungry. Honestly hungry. So, I went out to the freezer and got a Lean Pocket. (A real treat because we don't eat a lot of processed food.) As I put it in the microwave I realized it was only 10:38am. Really? I'm going to eat lunch before 11:00? Why not? I'm hungry and I'm going out to do the paper route, why not eat something that will fill me up instead of trying to be "good" and then be starving and overeat later? Good point.

As I sat down to eat my pocket, the phone rang. It's my good friend saying she had forgotten to call me, but yes, she was going to town and could take me, but she's leaving, now. See, earlier in the week, I had asked her if she was going to town because I needed (desperately) to pick up one of our cars that were in the shop there. She said she would let me know. So, now, I have about 10 minutes to get ready. Let me set the scene a little-I was sitting on the living room floor watching old episodes of "Grey's Anatomy" on Hulu, wearing my sweatpants, and t-shirt from doing yoga. I hadn't done any hair or make-up because I knew I would sweat it off doing the route. YIKES.

As I was running around getting ready, (gotta love dry shampoo and foundation and concealer in one!) I kept having the thought, "Thank goodness I went ahead and had that Lean Pocket!". I just saw it as the perfect God moment. I didn't know that my day was about to be turned upside down, but He did. He knew I didn't have money to eat out anywhere and that I get cranky when I'm hungry and that I wouldn't get home until after 2:00pm. It also reminded me to ask for God's help. My husband and I had just been talking the other night on how to change my perspective with food and we are trying a couple of different things, but this to me a was great example of asking God for help with something and then trusting Him to help. I'll go with my gut more often now. That's one weight I can lose!

Psalm 145:15-The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.

Woman to Woman

I had one of those moments today. One of those moments were you see another woman and you look each other in the eye and a message is conveyed and understood without saying a word. I was squatting down in Wal-Mart looking at the sugar and it wasn't because I couldn't find what I was looking for or because I needed a better angle, it was one of those moments in the month where you just can't stand for one more second and laying down in the aisle didn't seem appropriate. As I was sitting on my haunches, conversing with my husband on the phone, a lady walked by and as our eyes met, I thought I saw a look of sympathy in her eyes. Like she knew I wasn't taking break, I wasn't trying to find the price, I wasn't tying my shoe, I was just having a moment, and she understood.

I don't know if men have these moments, but I know women do. It might be when your kids are older and you see the young mother with a screaming baby in the cart and a toddler hanging on her leg and you just want to put your arm around her and tell her it will be all right. Or, when your kids are older yet and you see the mom and her teenage daughter having a "discussion" in the shoe department. Some days you side with the daughter, others, the mother. It might be the woman who has been widowed for years who sits next to the woman in church who just lost her husband and just holds her hand. We understand and we learn from each other.

I think that's why God put women in the Bible. This was a time when women weren't thought of much and if it was up to men to write the Bible, they might not have made it, but because God's Word is just that-the words of God- there are women there to encourage other women.

There is hope in Hannah praying for a long-awaited child. Hope in the story of Mary and the shame she endured as she carried the Christ child. Strength in the stories of Deborah and Abigail. Faith in the lives of Sarah and Esther. Redemption in the story of Tamar. Loyalty in the story of Ruth. If you've ever been the ugly, unloved sister, remember Leah and that God did not forget her, He won't forget you. Grace in the story of Gomer (Hosea's wife).

If you feel no one can understand what you are feeling, there is a woman somewhere, who does. Do a search for women of the Bible, one of their lives and stories will surely reach you where you are and you might be surprised what you learn about God and His part in your life.