I, like most red-blooded females, have been trying to lose 20 pounds. This is not the first time, my weight has been a lifelong battle. My mom weighed over 300 pounds when she graduated high school (she's about 5'5"). She now weighs 145 pounds. My mom went to TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) when I was a child and counted calories religiously. I know how to lose weight, I know what it takes, I've watched her all my life. I was never heavy. I've always been reasonable. Eight years ago I hit the highest weight I've ever been non-pregnant. God also brought a great book into my life that scared the "health" into me. I started working out and counting calories and in under a year, lost 35 pounds. Sadly, 8 years later, I've almost gained them all back. No time to work out, my son was diagnosed with diabetes and celiac so I spend more time watching his food and less watching mine. Also, try to count carbs and calories and make a meal. They are like opposite ends of the spectrum. He can eat tons of meat, I try to skimp by. It's hard.
So, here I am eight years later, trying again. It hasn't been going great, although I will say, the working out is helping because even though I've gained all that weight, I only wear one size bigger. Twelve years ago I did a program called the Weigh-Down Workshop and was really successful, one of the tenets of this is to know when you are hungry and only eat when you are hungry. If you feel yourself wanting food, it shows a hole in your life that needs filled by God. You are really wanting God. She would also talk about "God moments". Things that would happen like dropping your bowl of ice cream when you really didn't need it.
I had a God moment today. It had been a weird morning, not the normal schedule and I was hungry. Honestly hungry. So, I went out to the freezer and got a Lean Pocket. (A real treat because we don't eat a lot of processed food.) As I put it in the microwave I realized it was only 10:38am. Really? I'm going to eat lunch before 11:00? Why not? I'm hungry and I'm going out to do the paper route, why not eat something that will fill me up instead of trying to be "good" and then be starving and overeat later? Good point.
As I sat down to eat my pocket, the phone rang. It's my good friend saying she had forgotten to call me, but yes, she was going to town and could take me, but she's leaving, now. See, earlier in the week, I had asked her if she was going to town because I needed (desperately) to pick up one of our cars that were in the shop there. She said she would let me know. So, now, I have about 10 minutes to get ready. Let me set the scene a little-I was sitting on the living room floor watching old episodes of "Grey's Anatomy" on Hulu, wearing my sweatpants, and t-shirt from doing yoga. I hadn't done any hair or make-up because I knew I would sweat it off doing the route. YIKES.
As I was running around getting ready, (gotta love dry shampoo and foundation and concealer in one!) I kept having the thought, "Thank goodness I went ahead and had that Lean Pocket!". I just saw it as the perfect God moment. I didn't know that my day was about to be turned upside down, but He did. He knew I didn't have money to eat out anywhere and that I get cranky when I'm hungry and that I wouldn't get home until after 2:00pm. It also reminded me to ask for God's help. My husband and I had just been talking the other night on how to change my perspective with food and we are trying a couple of different things, but this to me a was great example of asking God for help with something and then trusting Him to help. I'll go with my gut more often now. That's one weight I can lose!
Psalm 145:15-The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.
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